Monday, November 23, 2009

Not feeling good....

Well, I was told to stop treatment by my Lyme doctor. My liver enzymes are high. I feel like everything I do hits a brick wall. Why am I so complicated? The doctor also thinks I have some kind of auto immune disorder. Great! Just give me one more thing! I can handle it! I just feel like bursting out and crying to God and asking him "why me?" What did I do to deserve this? I have lost everything from this disease including loving father that understood me.

I had a pretty rough day today. I was very tired all day and felt like I couldn't wake my brain was sleeping. When I did finally get up, I woke up to pain and a terrible headache. I am running fever again too. I can't seem to shake this fever. I feel worse since being taken off of antibiotics but what am I to do?

I will be starting a natural protocol soon. I am going to do a liver detox and then take supplements to boost my immune system, then pray to God that this helps get me off of my feet.

I am usually a positive, outgoing person, but this disease has turned me into someone I don't even know. I'm grumpy most of the time now. I guess it's because I'm always hurting and never seem to get much of a break from that.

I hope things change soon. Sometimes I don't know how much more I can take.

Monday, November 2, 2009

I Started Bartonella Treatment

I recently found a new Lyme doctor and started treatment for Bartonella. I'm only on my fifth day of treatment and I am feeling so bad. My whole body hurts and it hurts to move. My neck is really stiff and painful as are my fingers. My shoulders feel like I got punched and I feel like I have the flu. The bottoms of my feet are also hurting pretty bad. My head is jerking more often now as is my arms and hands. I am up at 4:00am and cannot sleep. I do hope this gets better.

My father passed away on Friday, October 23. He had cirhossis of the liver and Hep C. His liver and kidneys started shutting down. It was so fast and I feel like I won't make it through treatment because of this. I think about him all the time and everything I do reminds me of him. I sometimes get this panicky feeling come over me all at once and I think to myself, "OH my God! My daddy is gone!" It rushes over me and then I burst into tears. God how I will miss him. I hope I get through this...especially for him. He wanted to see me better.

I have a month of Levaquin to do and then I get a picc line inserted. I will be doing IV Rocephin and pulsing Flagyl at that time. I'm excited to get better and finally get my life back. Being housebound and not being able to walk too good is not fun. I want to get out and enjoy life. I will never take anything for granted again!